White coat. Heels.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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