I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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