drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
