Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize