i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
