Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize