Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
