Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
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