It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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