All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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