We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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