I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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