I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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