that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
