Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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