it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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