escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
