Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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