He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
