my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
