I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize