Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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