Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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