All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
