When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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