The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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