Three words: puerto rican gang bang
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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