my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
