Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
