That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
