This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
