What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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