A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
