smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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