well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
