I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
