Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
