so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
