So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I am naked and annoyed.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
