i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
