They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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