I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
