fuck your aforementioned shoe
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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