She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
