So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
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Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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