wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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