Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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