'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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