the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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