these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just found puke in my bra..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
