Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
