Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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