That reminds me...we need to get swords
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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