Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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