is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
my poor anus
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
