I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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