hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
