idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
