genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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