My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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