Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
