I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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