every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
