if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
