five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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