This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i now understand why vodka
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
