I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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