yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
